Uprooting…

I recently began reading the book "A Bitter and Sweet Providence" by John Piper. It talks about the lives of Ruth, Naomi and Boaz. In the section I am reading today it was talking specifically about Naomi and how she was focused on the bitter providence and was totally missing the sweet. The sentence that jumped out at me was "In the darkest of our times, God is plotting for our glory." Right now feels like a dark time in my life. So much upheaval and so much change has brought me to my knees more times that I can count. Being the Christian dummy that I am, I actually try and stand from time to time when God really wants me to stay on my knees. There have also been some pretty sweet moments as well. Moments when I look back and realize that the only way I made it through was because I have a Savior who loves me more than my mind can fathom. In the back of my mind I am constantly hearing, don't give up, I am not done with you yet. I honestly have no idea what God is trying to accomplish right now.

I have a mental image of someone trying to pull a bush out of the ground that has some very deep roots. There is one part of my life right now that I think that pertains to and I am fighting hard against it. God is pulling hard trying to get rid of this old lifeless part of my life, but the roots are deep and the harder He pulls the more I resist. In my very limited experience with gardening I remember trying to uproot plants that had deep roots. You would pull and dig and use any sharp object to cut through the roots, thinking that you were finally done only to realize that a bigger root was still attached and hidden much deeper. In these painful moments of God taking away He is softly reminding me that what He is going to plant in return will be so much more beautiful. Who better to plant something new than the author of creation, right? Still, there is a part of me that wants to hang on to what is safe and known. There is a part of me that doesn't trust that God really does know what is better.

It is in those moments that I am reminded on Naomi. She thought she had lost it all. She was so devastated she even changed her own name. What she says in Ruth 1:20-21 "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full and the Lord has brought me back empty." But what I get caught up on is the fact that Naomi has Ruth standing by her side while she is saying all of this. I don't want to ever lose sight of the good God is doing in my life because I can't see past the bad. I know that God has a reason for this season in my life. I also know that He is plotting for my glory. My prayer for my life is that I get out of my own way and I allow God to do with me what I can't.

April