Idol…

I am going through an amazing Bible study right now called "No other Gods," that talks about the things that become idols in our lives. This has proven to be one of the hardest, yet most rewarding studies I have ever done. God is opening up every corner of my life and showing me areas that are not truly His. This has been a painful process and today was no exception. The study started out with the story of the rich young ruler. As a child who grew up in church I have heard this story many times. And every time I hear it I think to myself that if giving up everything material I have is what is required to follow Jesus, than ok! Sounds easy enough for me. But that childhood story took on a whole new meaning today. The author took Jesus' words to the young ruler and phrased them just like this. "There's something you lack. You are missing treasure in heaven and you are unable to follow Me because something has a hold of you that is more important to you than Me."

I truly believe that was one of those moments when the words jumped off the page and the voice of God say, "Hey You! I am talking to you." I didn't even have to ask Him what He was talking about. I knew. In my heart I knew exactly what He was talking about. I also knew this day was coming. There is one area of my life that I have been trying so hard to hold on to. My fear is that if God takes this one thing that He can't possibly replace it with anything better. How could He take something that seems so perfect and make it better? But, if I were completely honest with myself I would have to admit that it is not as perfect as it seems. It has flaws and has caused pain. But I have chosen to ignore the pain because the idea of letting it go would cause a greater pain. Letting go has been in the back of my mind for a while now. I have just been determined to make it work. That was my plan. What is that old saying; if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans? My plan is no longer. And in its place is an empty spot. The great surgeon is doing some major open heart surgery right now and to be honest, it hurts.

There is hope though. There is hope because my God is a God of hope. And He has promised that He will never leave me. He sees the future and He knows that there will be joy again. I am always amazed at how God will teach me one of His characteristics right before I will need to lean into it. The last couple of days He has shown me over and over again that He is my Redeemer. He was teaching me that so that I could face the lesson I would learn today. The song that is currently playing in the background says it all.

"I know my Redeemer lives. I know my Redeemer lives. All of creation testifies, this life inside me cries, I know my Redeemer lives!"

Praying through the process!

April