For those of you who do not know, the last week of my life has been one of the hardest week's I have had in a very long time. It was one of those weeks when everything that could go wrong did go wrong. I literally dealt with disappointment after disappointment. Early on in the week I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who simply asked me what was it that I wanted to do with my life. I couldn't answer. For the first time in a long time I didn't have a clue. I had begun to feel defeated and like my life was losing purpose. This is one of the things that I fear the most. That simple question sent my whole week into a tail spin that ended with me opening up my hands as tears poured down my face and me saying, "God I give up!" In that moment I whole heartedly surrendered and admitted to my Savior that I needed Him to be exactly that, a Savior. The tears didn't end there. I forced myself off the couch and headed to Summer Bible study at my church. I came in late and sat in the back hoping no one would notice I was there because I knew one compassionate look and the waterworks were coming on strong. A sweet friend of mine sat next to me in the back and as the band sang "Oh my God, He will not delay my refuge and strength, always" my hands went up in surrender and the tears just flowed. I couldn't get the words of the song out because of the tears, but in my heart I was singing. My sweet MJ put her hand on my shoulder and the tears flowed even more. I knew that no matter what happen next that my God would be my refuge and strength always. I always knew that I was not alone. God had put some amazing people in my life who were going to walk though this with me.
The next afternoon while sitting at lunch with my small group girls, one of them gave me the name and number of a production company to call about doing some contract labor. I am an event planner, it's what I have always done. But, my heart has always come alive when I have been in a control room or had a camera in my hands. I am by no means the greatest, but man do I love it! So, I gave the production company a call to see if they needed any contract camera operators. I smile as I think about that conversation. God took control of that conversation. All I remember is that they started asking about my experience and we started talking about lighting and camera angles and video editing and for the first time in a very long time I felt like I could breathe again. I was reminded about a conversation that I had with my amazing friend Emily Davis several months back when she had asked me why I wasn't pursuing my passion as a career. I told her that I was an event planner. In her sweet voice she said, "Yes I know and you are very good at it, you planned my wedding remember." I knew it was coming, "but April, why aren't you doing what you were created to do?" Me being me, I argued with her. But that conversation has always been in the back of my head. The entire time I was on the phone that conversation was in the back of my head. By the time I hung up the phone I had an interview planned for Tuesday (today) and there were two things I was certain of. First, I finally knew the path and direction I was supposed to go and second, Emily was really going to enjoy hear "You were right."
Well, Emily did enjoy hearing she was right. She always does. I love you Em! And, my meeting today went great! We are still trying to work out the moving pieces, but there is direction and for the first time in a long time, there is joy. I know that God knew this day was coming, but I had to get through the bad days first. I don't know what the future looks like. Things could fall apart just as quickly as the came together. But I know that no matter what my God is my Savior and joy comes in the morning. I hope that this in some way encourages someone else. God is good in the bad days and the good. I will keep you posted on the new career!
April
